oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
