Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude i'm inner monologue high
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
