Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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