HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
