I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
