Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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