i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize