somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
