I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
