Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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