i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
