I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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