I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
