Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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