she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I think my vagina is haunted
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
