I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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