this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
