haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
