is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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