im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
