I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize