We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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