Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
