god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
