I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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