so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
