My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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