I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
