Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
