How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
