I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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