he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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