This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
