I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
