I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize