Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
