we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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