You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
