so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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