NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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