why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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