Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
