I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
