I wanna bring you to show and tell
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
