you guys were way drunker than both of me
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
