I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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