You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize