Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You just made me feel so damn special
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
