Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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