Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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