Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
