if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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