it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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