dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
