need another drink. this is the easiest way
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
