one might say we're banned from that church
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
