Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
