reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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