Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
