I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
