You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
