Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
