OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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