Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
