she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
