distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
