i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
