If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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