I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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